Five Things To Do When You're Feeling Small
When you feel unseen, unheard, or just plain invisible — here's what actually helps.
A few years ago, I came across a quote written in bold yellow chalk on a sidewalk in LA, right on the corner of Santa Monica and Highland:
"I hope you know that you matter."
It stopped me in my tracks. It's something I say to every client in my hypnotherapy sessions — because when we're in hypnosis, we're far more able to truly receive and absorb that kind of truth. And I've said it to myself too, in my own self-hypnosis practice.
But here's my question for you: do you actually know that you matter?
It's not hard to end up feeling inconsequential. We've all been there — when you've worked so hard and no one seems to notice; when you feel rejected or unseen; when someone important forgets your birthday. It's a terrible feeling.
The question is: what do you do with it? Get upset? Bury it in a glass of wine? Tell yourself you're the problem? All of the above?
Here's what I know: if you build different habits around these moments, you'll spend far less time feeling like you're not enough.
Here are five things to try the next time you've marinated long enough in that feeling:
1. Breathe — intentionally. Close your eyes and take three slow, deep breaths. As you inhale, imagine drawing in a color that feels peaceful and steady to you — maybe golden yellow, turquoise, or lavender. Let it fill you completely. Then exhale through your lips and imagine releasing any heaviness as dark smoke. Take your time and do this three times. Notice how you feel.
2. Remember your original worth. With your eyes still closed, picture yourself as a newborn baby. Look at that baby — beautiful, whole, and completely worthy. Your worth has not changed since that day. Whatever happened that made you feel small has nothing to do with your value. Nothing.
3. Get a real hug — and let it in. Find someone to hug you for at least 45 seconds. A child counts. A pet absolutely counts. The science backs this up — and so does my experience. This works.
4. Channel someone who loves you. Think of your grandmother, a dear friend, a mentor — anyone who sees you clearly and loves you anyway. What would they say to you right now? Let yourself hear it.
5. Become your own voice of encouragement. This is my favorite. Whatever you wished that person had said to you — say it to yourself. The most important words you will ever hear are the ones you say to yourself. Tell yourself you did a good job. That you're worthy and capable and enough. That you have purpose here and everything is going to be okay.
And tell yourself that you matter.
Because you do.